Growth. 

There’s been a lot of growth in our lives lately. Growth in our house, because we moved. And we love it. Growth in our income, which, hello, thank you Jesus. Growth in my belly, because of the residing human, you know.

But most importantly, growth in our love. Growth in our friendship. Growth in our communication. Growth in expressing our love to each other.

I don’t know where society has gotten this idea that love dwindles as time goes on, but let me tell you, friends: it’s wrong. It doesn’t have to be that way. You can cause it to be that way, but it isn’t the only option. Yes, the butterflies fly away, but then you have the potential for something far deeper to grow in their place.

Now, instead of feeling like my stomach is about to close in on itself every time he grabs my hand, it’s the hand that is the most comforting thing in all the world to me.

Instead of freaking out over what I’m going to say or how my voice is going to sound over the phone every time I’m about to call him, he’s the first person I call when I need someone, because I have the security that he’ll always be by my side, always and forever, no matter what.

Instead of him buying me random things I like, or giving me elaborate gifts, he’s super careful with our finances, because he wants to always know without a doubt that our precious baby and I will always be well taken care of.

So if the butterflies are fading in your marriage, let them. The feelings don’t equal love. Our culture has lied to us. Open your heart, and exchange the emotions for something far greater. Don’t buy into the lie that love is emotional, and when the emotions fade, it’s over.

No, you fight for your love. Grow your love. Be insane with the one you love. Have dance parties in the living room (extra points if you’re in your underwear). Go on adventures together, even if it’s just to Walmart at two am. Try new things together. Put down your phones and talk for real.

A great love doesn’t happen on accident; nothing great ever happens on accident. It takes time. It takes intentionality. It takes breaking out of your comfort zone. You have to grow together if you want to grow old together.

So I challenge you: do something this weekend for the sole purpose of showing your partner how much you love them. Be their best friend. Get dressed up and go on a fun date. Write them a love letter. Do the dishes for them. Whatever it is, think of what will have the greatest impact, and do it.

And then do it again.

And every time you water it, regardless of how small, soon enough you’ll stand back and be amazed at how beautifully your love has grown.

xo

P.S. — If you don’t know your spouse’s love language, I greatly encourage you to take some time and learn it! We have words, gifts, acts of service, touch, and quality time. Learning how to show love to your spouse in the way they best receive it is H U G E. Don’t skip this. (:

7 thoughts on “WHEN THE BUTTERFLIES FADE…”

  1. I love this! Your right, love doesn’t fade (unless you let it!) it really does grow the longer you are together. My husband and I are high school sweethearts and this coming March is our 10 years together! Every day I feel like I get to know him more and love him just a bit more! It truly is amazing!

    Lauren
    http://www.basicbabelauren.com

  2. This is such a beautiful post. My husband and I just got married (it’ll be one month in Monday!) and I wish this was something more people felt comfortable saying and sharing, especially when a couple is just starting their marriage.

    Thank you for being you and for writing this! 💛

  3. What a beautiful post! I love this so much. My husband and I have been together for ten years and after 4 years of marriage and a baby we feel closer than ever but it takes WORK! It is so worth it to invest and work consistently on your relationship, but as you get more comfortable it gets easier and more fun. May you have many happy years together!

  4. This is beautiful. I’ve been married 13 years, have 3 kids together, and got married young. Love doesn’t fade but it does require work to keep it alive. Especially after you have babies, who demand so much attention and have so many needs. However, when you stick together through it all, it brings you so much closer together and the love and happiness grow continuously.

  5. Love this! Once kids come along you have to work extra hard to put in the time for your spouse. We use to be the 2 am at Walmart couple until we had kids (so enjoy). Now we’re the 9 pm trying to get everybody in the bed couple. Happiness is where you make it!

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