There’s been a lot of growth in our lives lately. Growth in our house, because we moved. And we love it. Growth in our income, which, hello, thank you Jesus. Growth in my belly, because of the residing human, you know.
But most importantly, growth in our love. Growth in our friendship. Growth in our communication. Growth in expressing our love to each other.
I don’t know where society has gotten this idea that love dwindles as time goes on, but let me tell you, friends: it’s wrong. It doesn’t have to be that way. You can cause it to be that way, but it isn’t the only option. Yes, the butterflies fly away, but then you have the potential for something far deeper to grow in their place.
Now, instead of feeling like my stomach is about to close in on itself every time he grabs my hand, it’s the hand that is the most comforting thing in all the world to me.
Instead of freaking out over what I’m going to say or how my voice is going to sound over the phone every time I’m about to call him, he’s the first person I call when I need someone, because I have the security that he’ll always be by my side, always and forever, no matter what.
Instead of him buying me random things I like, or giving me elaborate gifts, he’s super careful with our finances, because he wants to always know without a doubt that our precious baby and I will always be well taken care of.
So if the butterflies are fading in your marriage, let them. The feelings don’t equal love. Our culture has lied to us. Open your heart, and exchange the emotions for something far greater. Don’t buy into the lie that love is emotional, and when the emotions fade, it’s over.
No, you fight for your love. Grow your love. Be insane with the one you love. Have dance parties in the living room (extra points if you’re in your underwear). Go on adventures together, even if it’s just to Walmart at two am. Try new things together. Put down your phones and talk for real.
A great love doesn’t happen on accident; nothing great ever happens on accident. It takes time. It takes intentionality. It takes breaking out of your comfort zone. You have to grow together if you want to grow old together.
So I challenge you: do something this weekend for the sole purpose of showing your partner how much you love them. Be their best friend. Get dressed up and go on a fun date. Write them a love letter. Do the dishes for them. Whatever it is, think of what will have the greatest impact, and do it.
And then do it again.
And every time you water it, regardless of how small, soon enough you’ll stand back and be amazed at how beautifully your love has grown.
P.S. — If you don’t know your spouse’s love language, I greatly encourage you to take some time and learn it! We have words, gifts, acts of service, touch, and quality time. Learning how to show love to your spouse in the way they best receive it is H U G E. Don’t skip this. (: