Happy first anniversary, Baby!
I can hardly believe it’s been a full year since our wedding day. The wedding that still somehow turned out to be absolutely beautiful and anything I could have ever dreamed of, even though we threw it together in a month because we were crazy. Truly, Baby, what were we thinking? People must’ve thought we were psycho. All I knew is I loved you and wanted to spend forever by your side. Everyday after I came to that conclusion that I spent not being your wife felt like a waste. I even begged you to just elope with me, but you told me that every girl deserves a wedding. At the time, it made me so mad because all I wanted was you! But now, I’m thankful that you cared for me and loved me that much. That’s proven to be true every single day of our marriage.
Something I’ve learned though is that the wedding doesn’t really matter. I mean, yes it matters. But it lasts a matter of hours, then boom: onto marriage. I’ve also learned that marriage isn’t what I imagined it would be. I always thought my favorite part of marriage would be being able to fall asleep next to you every night. Or holding hands in the car every time we’re in it (which you always do, because you know it’s important to me). Or going on fun dates often.
The truth is, while I love falling asleep next to you every night, my favorite part is when we’re lying in bed before we fall asleep, and then I put my cold feet all over your legs and make you scream, and we end up laughing together until we cry.
And while I love holding your hand in the car, my favorite thing about being in the car with you is that you always (always always always) let me play the same Ed Sheeran songs over and over again while I curl up in a ball and get into it, and then turn over to face you so that I can spout off the same 8 Ed facts I know (that you’ve heard me say a 1,887,936,274 times), yet you act like it’s brand new information and respond with “Oh really?” and “That’s so awesome!”.
And while I love going on fun dates with you, my favorite thing we do together is grocery shopping (weird, right? It’s mainly because you push the cart), and when I throw something random in the cart, you look at me and kindly say, “Baby, are you really going to end up eating that?” While I’m busy making up reasons as to why this time will be different, you smile and move on and don’t remind me about that weird jar of Fuji apples that are still sitting in our pantry that I bought on our very first grocery trip simply because I thought it meant the apples were from Fuji, not that they were Fuji apples.
I thought my favorite thing about being married to you would be all the fun and the romance. Turns out, my favorite part is that I’m known by you, down to the very depths of who I am as a person, yet you still love me more than anyone ever has.
You love so freely and fully. You are one of the most selfless people I know. Thomas, I can’t even put into words how grateful I am to God that I get to be the woman you call your wife.
I never told you this, but a few months ago, I was praying and asking God to remind me of how he loves. I felt like I was in a place where I could see His just side. I had forgotten how He loved His children. I had forgotten how He loved me. You know what came to my mind? You. I remembered all the times I had to come to you, with tears in my eyes, to tell you something awful I had done, and all you do is open your arms and tell me I’m forgiven when you should be angry at me. I remembered all the times you love me when I’m unloveable (Like, when I threw that brat fit because I wanted a strawberry cupcake, not a strawberry shortcake cupcake, for example. Can I blame that on being pregnant?) You encourage me to improve the things I need to work on, yet you never make me feel unloved because of them.
I could keep going, but I’ll just sum it up with this: you are a tangible picture to me of how Jesus loves me.
So, thank you. Thank you for our wonderful first year together. Thank you for everything that happened, because I feel like we’ve not only grown up together a bit more, but we’ve definitely grown stronger and closer together. I know in the grand scheme of forever, one year isn’t much, but it feels like it to me right now. I’ve always heard that your first year of marriage is the hardest, and if this is the worst we’ve got, then I’d say we’re doing pretty good. 😉 I’m not saying it’s been without it’s challenges, as you know, but it was good. So good.
I can’t for the next year. And the next. And the next. And…
I’ll love you forever,
P.S. – I’m excited to see what our second year together will hold! (Spoiler alert: I’m pretty sure the arrival of our first baby will be a highlight ;))