Hey guys! Happy Tuesday (or whatever day it is when you read this)! Y’all, I’m so excited for this post! We’ve reached the end of our love language series, and my friend, Katelynn Willis, is finishing it off with the post on physical touch! I asked her to do this a few weeks ago, and I’m so glad she finally accepted! (; She really breaks down how to not only love people with this love language, but also how to tolerate and still show love to those you love that are physical touch when you’re, well….not! Important stuff, amiright?
I’ve known Katelynn for awhile now; we met through our mutual friend Joy Roberts (who has an amazing blog here, so go check it out!) It wasn’t until after we had known each other for awhile that we realized that her cousin was my pastor, and had been for years! Crazy, huh?
Katelynn married the love of her life, Robert, back in February of this year! I gotta say, hands down, it was one of the most beautiful, love-filled weddings I’ve ever had the privilege of attending. *heart eyes*
Aren’t they just the cutest?
Katelynn, I can’t thank you enough for taking the time to write this! You did such an amazing job, and I know everyone’s going to love it!
So, everyone, you know the drill: grab coffee, grab something to take notes with, and get ready to love it. (;
Hi there!! *big hug* My name is Katelynn Willis (still getting used to the new last name considering the fact that I got married two months ago! Eek!!). I’m sure you can guess that my love language, and the love language I will be writing a bit about, is Physical Touch!
For starters, I love words, and writing! Not saying that I’m good at it, but I love it! All until someone asks me (or tells me) to write something… Then, suddenly, I have forgotten every word in the English language, and I can’t remember how to form sentences! So when Jordan asked me to write this, I kind of freaked out! Lol I was honored, but also very nervous. I even told her no! Like twice! *covers my face* However, as soon as I told her no, I realized I really wanted to do it! So here it goes…
The love language of physical touch is interesting. Obviously there are boundaries that you must have when your love language is physical touch. You have to be able to read people’s body languages, because not everyone is built like us. Example: the first day of my first job (I work at a bank) I went around giving hugs to some of my new coworkers before I left for the day. They all stared at me as if I were crazy! And then I realized… you just don’t do that. Lesson learned.
I am totally a hugger! I meet you, and I give you a hug. That’s how it goes. Not everyone in your life may be that way, and some may even feel uncomfortable with physical contact. For instance, my mother does NOT have the love language of physical touch. When other people outside of family and close friends attempt to give her a hug, or any other physical gesture, it makes her feel uncomfortable. My mom and I have an amazing relationship, and sometimes I simply like snuggling up next to her on the couch! She loves me a lot, so therefore she lets me do it, even though it may seem weird to her.
When my husband and I were dating we set up a ton of safe guards for ourselves. We even asked our families to help keep us accountable. We both knew how physical I am inclined to be, not to mention with him being a guy and us being in love, that’s just a recipe for disaster! We didn’t want to do anything before our marriage that we would regret.
I have to tell you, it was hard because all you want to do is be around that person you love and feel/show love to them! On top of that we saved our first kiss for our wedding day, which made it even harder! To survive we did hug (a whole lot), held hands (nonstop), snuggled next to each other on the couch, and we were together as much as possible! Lol! Let’s just say getting married was the best thing ever! Marriage for those of us who are “physical touch” people can’t get any better. You suddenly have your own personal human that you can love, kiss, hug, snuggle, cuddle and just annoy for the rest of forever! 😉 Sorry, not sorry, Robert! *runs to give you a kiss*
TO MY NON PHYSICAL TOUCHERS:
If you have a friend who’s always hugging you, or sitting close to you, or maybe it seems like they have “latched” on to you and they won’t leave you alone — I have some advice. Give them a hug! Now, I know you don’t like hugs a whole lot, I know they make you feel uncomfortable and strange. BUT to that friend of yours, that’s what they thrive on. I will tell you that one hug can go a LONG way! Especially if it’s from someone who normally tries to avoid your hugs. I’m not saying you have to bear hug them for a minute (We have other friends for that)! You don’t even have to give them hugs all of the time. Just be the first to initiate a quick side hug every once in a while! Or even make an effort to sit close to them while you are hanging out. Something that shows them that you love them enough to leave your comfort zone. It means the world to them (us).
TO MY FELLOW TOUCHERS:
Now come on guys we know that we can’t always be touching people (excuse the way that sounds lol). We do have to learn our boundaries, but the most important thing is to be yourself. You need love just like everyone else, so go on! Love people! Give hugs! Your friends, even if they feel weird about receiving hugs, will probably come to enjoy and expect getting them from you! Just like my mom who doesn’t like being touched, now enjoys when I snuggle up next to her on the couch. Because she knows that, that makes me feel loved! You could also find yourself a friend whose love language is physical touch just like you. That way both of you are giving and receiving love when you are around each other. It’s truly wonderful! When my best friend Eleanor and I are together she’s guaranteed to get at least 5 hugs! lol That’s just how it goes! And after 8 plus years of being friends, she expects it.
LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS:
Joy Roberts (she wrote the post about quality time! Hey Joy!! * big hug*) raised a good question, asking, “How do you show love to someone who has the love language of Physical Touch whenever you are far away from them?”
I had never thought about it that way before. However, after reminiscing when my husband and I were in a “long distance relationship”, I realized what my answer would be: I would say that if you are really wanting to show love to a friend that is far away, and their love language is physical touch, then you should get to know what their second most important way of feeling love is, and work with that!
My second love language would be words of affirmation. Like I said when I began writing this post, I love words! So a sweet text, email, phone call, or especially a written letter from friends far away make me feel like they really do love me and want to keep up our relationship. If your friend’s second love language is gifts then you could refer to Alex’s post and send them little thoughtful things every once in awhile. If it’s quality time, then like Joy said, give them a FaceTime so that you are getting to spend that quality face to face time even from miles and miles away. And lastly if their love language is acts of service then go check out Kailie’s post and get creative on learning how to serve your friend in a way that makes them feel loved! There are so many ways to show people that you care about them.
If none of our blog posts have helped you in learning how to love that certain someone in your life, then go to them directly and ask them how you can love them. Ask them what makes them feel special and do that for them! If you take the extra effort they are sure to notice and they may even try to learn how to love you better! Then you have a win, win a situation. You are blessing someone else, and in return you receiving a wonderful blessing from them.
Now go and show some love to all of your friends and family! By the way, if you need any lessons on hugs, I’m always available! 🙂