Welcome back to the blog!
Today, I’m going to introduce you to one of my best friends, Joy Roberts! She runs the space of the internet over at hoperenown.com, and her purpose is to share the hope that Christ offers in the midst of whatever hardships you’re facing in life. Definitely check it out! She’s incredible, and no, I’m not biased. (; God has gifted her with incredible wisdom, and I’ll just sum it up to say that you don’t want to miss her writings. So, like, read her blog. K thx.
She’s writing on my blog today to give you guys ideas + tips on how to love all the quality time people in your life! She’s a definite quality time person, so she’s pretty experienced in what she’s shared. (;
So, go grab a cup of coffee, a notebook to jot down notes in, and let’s jump in!
Hey guys, I’m Joy!
Let me start with an apology. If you are friends with someone that receives love through quality time, I am so sorry. 😉
Why? Because, we. are. so. needy.
I’m going to give y’all a number of ways to help your QT friend feel deeply loved, and then I have a message for my fellow QT’s!
1.) Initiate a time to hang out.
As a QT myself, I am always planning times to get together with friends. While I do feel loved when they say yes, there’s nothing quite like it when someone you care about initiates a get together. Invite them out for coffee, to spend the night, or lunch.
Remember, they’re quality time so you don’t necessarily have to buy them anything. . . Unless their secondary love language is gifts…. May the Lord bless you.
2.) Video call them.
For this one, I can already hear my best friend (hi Jordan) laughing. I live a minimum of an hour and a half from most of my friends, so I’m pretty much always up for a FaceTime/Skype date. Please understand this only works if you’re pretty close to me figuratively speaking. I find video and phone calls extremely awkward if I don’t know the caller very well, and I’ll probably not call back. I’m sorry.
But, if my good friends want to call me, it comforts me to be able to spend some time together. Phone calls aren’t the same as video chatting. Video makes it feel like you’re actually hanging out in person.
3.) Simply sit by them.
If you’re in college or always hanging out together, you can do separate tasks in the same room. Just last week I was at Jordan’s house and while I did my make up, she sat by me, looking at the make up I had in my bag. Even just sitting there instead of going to a different room made me feel loved; it’s the little things.
4.) Make your actions line up with your words.
Usually QT’s feel appreciated through words of affirmation, but if your actions don’t indicate what you’re saying, your QT may feel neglected or as though they’ve been lied to. Don’t just tell them you love them, show them by spending time with them. Don’t just say you love hanging out with them, actually go to coffee or video call them. Remember not everyone accepts love in the way we give it. You may feel loved through one of the 5 love languages, but truly loving them is studying them and trying to meet their needs above our own.
Now, my fellow QTs:
Please, for the sake of having friends, don’t be so needy. Receiving love through quality time requires a lot of sacrifice from the giver. In reality, loving people takes sacrifice. But, if your expectations are for people to always want to talk to you, hang out, and visit you- your friends may feel like you’re draining and a bit self-focused. So, instead of expecting them to meet your needs, look for ways to meet theirs. Study them and look for ways to show them that you care, not expecting anything in return. Love is patient and kind, it isn’t self-focused. It bears and endures all things.
Basically? Be Jesus to people.
Hold on to Hope,