Confession: I feel foolish writing a post titled “What Your Marriage is Missing” as if I’m experienced enough to offer marriage advice. I’m not, obviously. I’m only one day shy of seven months of marriage, and as you might expect, I’m not really qualified to be giving marriage advice. But, all I ask is that you give me a chance. I just wanted to share this the same way I would interject it into a conversation we’d be having over coffee. Because coffee.
When Thomas first moved down to Texas last April, we started doing this every week. We haven’t missed a week yet – not because it’s easy, but because it’s important to us. Admittedly, it was kind of awkward when we were still dating and we would stick to it even when I had friends over and they would just chill in my room until I got back (sorry Alex).
What is it, you ask?
Weekly date nights.
Don’t roll your eyes at me. I hear you: “Easy for you to say, you don’t have kids!’ or “What does this measly little nineteen year old know?” Those are valid arguments, but hear me out. Understand that this isn’t something I’ve come up with myself. This is something that we both admired in Thomas’ parents’ marriage, and decided we wanted to implement ourselves by their example. They have ten kids. I repeat: ten kids. Yet they do it.
Mic drop. Picks it back up because I’m not done yet.
For us, it’s just something that we decided we wanted to make a habit of now while we’re young, so that when the pressures of kids, bills, and well, life really kick in – it’s habit. It’s expected. We know that we are going to have a date night, regardless of the circumstances of the week. If anyone reads this who is still in the beginning of a marriage or a relationship, I encourage you to develop the habit now, too. 🙂
Another hindrance you may be thinking of is money. On this one, I would say I double dog feel you, but I don’t think that’s a thing. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It doesn’t have to be a fancy date every week. Heck, it doesn’t even have to be a date out of the house every week. The goal isn’t to get perfect photos for your instagram feed. The goal is just to have time every week set aside to devote to your spouse. To walk away from the pressures and responsibilities of the week and really nurture your marriage.
Depending on our budget, sometimes we’ll do the standard dinner and a movie (but I won’t lie — this is really only when we’re gifted with gift cards. Also, I don’t think there is a weirder way for me to word that). Or, we’ll get 50 cent ice cream cones from McDonald’s and take a walk. Or, my personal fav, we’ll build a fort in our living room and get 10 minutes into a movie until I get bored and then have a dance off (I always win, btw. Just don’t ask Thomas because he’ll tell you differently).
After writing that paragraph, I realize that our dates sound really boring. Get creative with what you and your spouse do. Search Pinterest for ideas. Think outside the box!
But when it comes down to it, what you do really isn’t that important, honestly. Do something. Devote time to your spouse and to your marriage. Show them that you still love them and enjoy being with them. Continue to make each other your bestest friend in the whole wide world.
That’s the goal. And from the people I’ve spoken with, talked to, and admired…that’s what solid, healthy marriages are made out of. I don’t know about you, but that’s what I want.
Here’s to weekly date nights!